I felt like this some months back, when I was in a limbo, trying to deny a fact, while it remained one. and I just felt it now, right now. As if someone is holding my heart and just crushing it in the palm of their hand.
Life has always been like this.... And I am sure all of us experience it that way.... The first breathe we take, is so uncertain. Would it go on? Would it stop? The first step taken as a toddler, is never certain-one might trip, might fall; still it is taken. The first attempt to run, sit, stand, write, read, laugh, swim, drive, jump, fight, hit, punch, love- the list goes on... The uncertainty continues...so does our voluntary and involuntary actions....Not knowing the results, we see light at the end of the tunnel in our own respective way and we continue this journey, to go on all our lives.
For me, I've always seen the glass half-full!! Or say FULL. In the worst of situations, I've pulled myself together and hoped for things to get better...And they did!! Exams, work, personal matters, matters of heart-everything! I remember at work when we were about to conduct a workshop and my colleagues would freak out on the low attendance, I would tell them "Ho jaega" (We'll do it) and they would ask "How can you say that with just a day left?" and I would reply "I don't know" . And the Sunday morning, my boss would ask, "What did you do?" I didn't know. I still donot know.
May be its my utmost belief in God, may be the vibes of my positivity attract all the other positive auras, aur may be its just sheer luck, time after time- I don't know!
All I knew then and all I know now is that if you really want something from the core of your heart, you get it. The path may be difficult, the signs not clear, you might have second thoughts, the time not defined-however if you know what you want and how bad you want it, the key is to just holding on to it and not stepping back, come what may!